Fear usually stops us dead in our tracks. It’s in our
protective nature not put ourselves in harm’s way or in a situation that may
bring about pain. Most of the time, this is a healthy fear. However, when fear
keeps us on the sidelines of an opportunity to serve Christ, we communicate
that we do not trust that God is in control. I have sat here this week in deep
contemplation over an amazing opportunity to serve Christ in an area that has
been a dream of mine for countless years. Stifled by fear, I said nothing to
anyone for several days about this opportunity.
In my solitude, I
reasoned that I was not good enough, that I would get in the way of what Christ
desires to do through this ministry. I reasoned that my motives, though pure on
this side of the opportunity, may become off kilter and at some point I would serve
on my own strength and/or for my own pleasure rather than God’s. Essentially, I
reasoned I would fail in one regard or another.
Isn’t that just like us: to think about our role, rather
than God’s role? How I struggle with that! I measure myself against a monumental
task and automatically see that I am not equipped, not big enough, and strong
enough to take on such as task. I see this before I see that God IS…God IS! God
is bigger than it all and it is for His perfect glory that we serve and in our
need for Him, He is magnified. How easy it is to lose this perspective, even if
temporary.
Twice this week the parable
of the three talents was brought up in discussion. To refresh your memory, the
story goes a little something like this:
As a man was getting ready to depart on a journey, he entrusted each one of his
servants a portion of his property. To the first servant, he gave five talents,
to the second servant he gave two talents, and to the third servant he gave one
talent. The story goes on to tell that the servant with five talents invested
his money and earned an additional five talents. The servant with two talents also
put his talents to work and, like the first servant, doubled his investment.
The last servant, who had received one talent, buried his talent in the ground. After a long while, the master returned to
settle accounts with his servants. Upon seeing that two of the servants doubled
their investments, he praised them saying, “Well done, good and faithful
servants! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of
many things. Come and share in your master’s happiness” (Matthew 25:21). Then the servant who had buried his one talent
approached his master saying, “I know how hard you work. I feared wasting your
talent and disappointing you, so I kept it safe for you. Here it is, safe and
sound!” The master, angered by the servant’s laziness (perhaps, obsessive
cautiousness), said, “You would have been better to have invested the talent in
the bank, where I would have at least got a little interest”. Then, he took the
talent and gave it to the one who has risked the most.
I don’t know about you, but I certainly see myself in this parable.
Fear of failing, fear of disappointing our ever precious Savior is often a tactic
Satan employs on those who desire to be faithful in service to Christ. Fear is not of Christ. Fear isolates. Fear prevents
growth. At this thought… this fact, I
can practically hear Him ask, “Will you serve me, even if you suffer, even if
you fail by the world’s standards? By trusting me, Beloved, you will be my
precious demonstration of my holiness. Trust me to go about my Father’s
business through you”.
Feeling convicted for elevating my role over Christ’s once
again, I pour out my heart to Him, confessing my pride, my inadequacies, my
fears and ask Him to take it all… My Precious Redeemer, empty me of anything
unpleasing to you, mold me and shape me into a vessel that will not only be
filled with your living water, but to be of use. I want desperately to invest your talents that
you have bestowed upon me, not to hide them out of fear of failure. Lord, my
ultimate desire is to be the servant that stands tall and confidently says, “Here
I am! Send me! Use me!” With this petition, my hearts finds rest on the knowledge that God does not leave to uncertain risk, our growth and perserverance in holiness. Rather, He says, "I will put my Spirit within you, and will cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to observe my ordinances" (Ezekiel 36:27). I find incredible comfort in knowing it is God who works in us to will and do His good pleasure (Hebrews 13:21).
Where I see God working is my call to also serve there. It
is there I am to invest His talents that He has lent me. How I desire to not let those talents go void
because of fear. Instead, it is my hope that I will one day hear Him say, “Well
done, my good and precious servant”.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Trust
I am certain the imagine of Meg gently laying her head on the
nape of Rusty’s neck as we were setting
out to leave the Ranch today will forever be imbedded in my mind. I hope it is
at least for it captured a tender moment between a hurting girl and a horse who
knows pain all too well himself. Hugging Rusty after a gentle meandering
through trails blazing with harvest colors and crisp leaves under foot this
afternoon; I saw a connection between them that I did not see so readily last
week. There was trust.
Trust usually takes time to build. Though it has only been two weeks, an unyielding bond has been made between girl and horse. Perhaps there is an unspoken language rooted in deep respect for what one another have been through. There is tenderness toward one another, a beautiful dance of love and respect, of safety and harmony. Nothing, nothing could be more beautiful to witness as the melody of grace fills the air.
In sharing our experience at Raven Rock Ranch, I have repeatedly said, “There is just something incredibly remarkable happening there”. The foundation itself was built upon Christ and without a doubt; His grace is touching hearts, kids and parents alike, on a monumental scale. This place is different. This is not a temporary fix, this is life-giving. This is Hope. And it is here that my Meg is learning to trust!
Trusting in the promise that God will work all things together for those who love and have been called according to His purpose not only brings Him immense and holy pleasure (Romans 8:28), but also reminds me that it is for HIS good and perfect pleasure we seek, not ours, that though our hopes for healing may or may not take place, His glory is the ultimate goal. It has taken me a long time to see that even when my prayers, hopes, and dreams are not answered as I would like, that God is still God. He is still merciful, still trustworthy.
I know that I can do nothing on my own strength to bring God glory. I need Him. Honestly, I am in great need of Him. I have waited for His strength, His courage, knowing fully that He, in His perfect timing, would supply all that I need. And without a doubt, I see it so clearly at Raven Rock Ranch that I cannot keep my joy hidden (unfortunately my joy comes out in tears, which is embarrassing!). I have put my hope in Him. He is my Refuge, my Strength, and my Treasure. “From Him and through Him and to Him are all things; to Him be glory forever and ever”(Romans 11:36).
Trust usually takes time to build. Though it has only been two weeks, an unyielding bond has been made between girl and horse. Perhaps there is an unspoken language rooted in deep respect for what one another have been through. There is tenderness toward one another, a beautiful dance of love and respect, of safety and harmony. Nothing, nothing could be more beautiful to witness as the melody of grace fills the air.
In sharing our experience at Raven Rock Ranch, I have repeatedly said, “There is just something incredibly remarkable happening there”. The foundation itself was built upon Christ and without a doubt; His grace is touching hearts, kids and parents alike, on a monumental scale. This place is different. This is not a temporary fix, this is life-giving. This is Hope. And it is here that my Meg is learning to trust!
Until today, Meg has not known this kind of trust. She lives
on the defensive, always, as a way to protect her heart from being hurt further.
She lives from the place of doubt and discouragement. Her wounds are not only raw;
they run deep, to the core of who she is. She has been in desperate need of our
Great Physician for years, though she cannot see that. As her parents, we have
tried countless things from extracurricular activities to help build her self
esteem to counseling and medication; all which leave her with temporary
results, temporary hopes.
Watching Rusty run to the fence to greet Meg is an image of
how it is when we show up to spend time with God. He RUNS to us. It doesn’t
matter where we have been, what we have done or what has been done to us. He is
jubilant in our return! In our return, He see our hearts and the dark, searing
pain and is not spooked or surprised by it, rather the melodious dance of grace
continues as He so gently whispers in our ear, “…by my wounds you have been
healed, my Beloved (Isaiah 53:5). Trust in me. Trusting in the promise that God will work all things together for those who love and have been called according to His purpose not only brings Him immense and holy pleasure (Romans 8:28), but also reminds me that it is for HIS good and perfect pleasure we seek, not ours, that though our hopes for healing may or may not take place, His glory is the ultimate goal. It has taken me a long time to see that even when my prayers, hopes, and dreams are not answered as I would like, that God is still God. He is still merciful, still trustworthy.
I know that I can do nothing on my own strength to bring God glory. I need Him. Honestly, I am in great need of Him. I have waited for His strength, His courage, knowing fully that He, in His perfect timing, would supply all that I need. And without a doubt, I see it so clearly at Raven Rock Ranch that I cannot keep my joy hidden (unfortunately my joy comes out in tears, which is embarrassing!). I have put my hope in Him. He is my Refuge, my Strength, and my Treasure. “From Him and through Him and to Him are all things; to Him be glory forever and ever”(Romans 11:36).
Trust is the first step toward healing and today, Meg took
it with Rusty.
Labels:
Faith,
Hope,
Horses,
Isaiah 53:5,
Raven Rock Ranch,
Romans 11:36,
Romans 8:28-29,
Trust
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