Beloved?

“It takes a profound conversion to accept that God is relentlessly tender and compassionate toward us just as we are—not in spite of our sins and faults, but with them. Though God does not condone or sanction evil, He does not withhold His love because there is evil in us” (Brennan Manning).

I believe that the distance we sometimes feel between God and ourselves is because we have projected our feelings about ourselves onto God—believing that He is judging us as harshly as we judge ourselves (or others) or that He holds too high of expectations for us that we cannot possibly meet. Perhaps we feel that we cannot possibly approach Him until we clean up our lives, or look more presentable. We know that we are unworthy. Perhaps we fear that because we are likened to filthy rags that Christ will not even look our way, that---He will reject us. We know the old adage: God is love, but we don’t believe that applies to us.  We don’t live this truth.

 I write a lot about my identity in Christ. Perhaps, I do so because I am still trying to grasp it myself, even though I have been a Christ follower for more than half my life. I find myself lamenting with Paul when he writes, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate to do, I do” (Romans 7:15) and resonating with the song writer who penned the words: "Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love". Sin lives within us! We are human beings in the midst of a great battle, not a battle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers and authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms (Eph. 6:12). We forget this constantly.  Though we cannot see this battle, we certainly feel the effects. We often don’t realize these struggles, trials and strongholds are Satan’s poisonous darts as he works with all his might to stifle us-- and if he is really successful, his stifling leads to bondage. For the Christian, this looks like a prison cell in which the door is wide open. We fear stepping into the light. We fear being seen; our shame or guilt revealed. We fear rejection. We reason, perhaps unconsciously, that it is safer to live in bondage than to be seen, to be known, to be rejected. One of the basic human needs is the need to belong, to be accepted. And we fight for this at all costs.

We forget that the sacred voice of Christ calls us, “Beloved” and being the Beloved constitutes the existence of our being” (Brennan Manning). Think about that for a moment. What images does your mind conjure up when you think about the name Beloved? Do we conjure up images of an idealistic, perfect person whose morals are always on the up and up, who tirelessly serves others day and night, who smiles genuinely, lives authentically at all times, never grows tired, never stresses or worries and has great hair days every day? (Anyone else thinking of Mary Poppins?)This is not an accurate image of God’s Beloved.

God’s definition of Beloved defies our definition. Perhaps that’s why we struggle. We see ourselves more as a beggar in God’s kingdom than His son/daughter. We don’t see ourselves as Beloved and this distances us from the Lord. God’s Beloved has wounds, battle scares that sometimes still ache; still immobilizes us at times. Complete with struggles, sins, and unworthiness, God’s Beloved does not allow these to stifle us, but allows the light to shine on these wounds, these imperfections, so that in God’s love, graciousness, and mercy we can be healed and live fully in relationship with Christ: in freedom, in acceptance, in belonging. As a Christ follower with wounds of my own, I have learned that when I allow myself to feel inferior or inadequate because of these wounds, Satan has accomplished what he set out to do in my life: question my identity in God’s eyes. These negative, self-focused thoughts somehow replace the wonderful spiritual experiences I have encountered, defy the truths that I have memorized in God’s precious Word, and inevitably replaces my freedom for shackles.  God’s Beloved in shackles? I am sure nothing breaks the heart of our Father more.

Living as the Beloved, challenges us because it defies human nature. Everything in us begs us to conceal our wounds, hurts, pains, imperfections, struggles, and addictions out of fear, shame, and/or rejection.  When we do this our inner darkness cannot be illuminated with God’s healing power, “nor can it become light for others”. Our wounds allow others to see God’s merciful hand more clearly. It helps us to know that we, too, in our weakness, are loved tenderly, the receiver of boundless compassion, infinite patience, and excessive forgiveness. God’s love does not keep score of our wrongs.  I know this and yet I do not always live in this truth. God knows this about me. He knows this about you. It does not scare Him away. It does not disappoint Him. Instead, He continues to whisper our name through the wrestling of leaves, through the tenderness of a hug, through the ache of loss. He does not grow tired as He waits for us. 1 Corinthians 13:7-8 reminds us that, “Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails”. God is love.

“Our falling (our sin, our failings) does not hinder [Christ] from loving us” (Brennan Manning). Satan’s number one ploy: get us to believe that our sin keeps Christ from loving us. Nothing, Beloved, nothing could be further from the truth.  I read some time ago that our spiritual life, our relationship with Christ, begins when we can acknowledge our brokenness, our poverty, our utmost need for Him. Accepting our wounded self is to take the first step into the light.

 “Wounds of pain and sadness make us aware of our inner poverty and create an emptiness that becomes as free space into which Christ can pour His healing power”.  When we make the decision to live authentically, raw, vulnerable, we find ourselves standing in the Truth that sets us free and we have the privilege to “live out the Reality that makes us whole”.  

The decision, and it is a decision, is ours to make every day. Each morning, I encourage you to wake up and greet your Abba, Father and thank Him for loving you as His Beloved son/daughter. Embrace your identity in Christ and live it fully without reservation, without restriction. Live Christ boldly as the Beloved!