Part of the Problem...is Me

Am I “…daring enough to be different, humble enough to make mistakes, wild enough to be burnt in the fire of love, real enough to make others see how unreal they are”? These words, written by Brennan Manning, have lingered in my mind for several days and this morning as my Pastor asked the congregation what Christians are best known for, “hypocrisy” unanimously filled the air. Though this came as no surprise, it caused a deep weeping in my soul. For I am fully aware that I am not daring enough to be all that different...I proclaim to be a Christian. I often say Christ is my everything, my life, my all. My desire is to know Him more intimately than I do, to adopt His very nature as my own, and to be His hands, feet and, heart to those around me. But to sit there this morning, absorbing the world’s definition of Christian…I find myself realizing I am part of the problem. I resemble the world more than Christ. This is a constant struggle for me and I find that I am constantly fighting to find some happy medium. The thing is, I know I cannot live a life that pleases man AND Christ simultaneously. This is where my hypocrisy lies and perhaps does for many Christians.

I heard someone once ask, ‘if Christians really believe they are “saved”, why don’t they look like it’. And though I have not given this question much thought in several years, it comes rushing back to me today and I find myself asking the same question…truly, if we, as Christians, believe we are saved, have been given the gift, the absolute treasure of Salvation, unconditional love from our Heavenly Father, why don’t our actions match? Faith is more about what we do than about what we think but somewhere along the line, we have made our faith something we keep to ourselves. I attended a memorial service this afternoon and as I sat there my mind kept wondering, what will people remember and treasure most about me? What will my legacy be? Will it simple be that I was a nice girl who smiled on Monday mornings and loved her coffee, books, family, and career? Gosh, as nice as that is, I hope that will be just the beginning…I desire to defined…defined by my faith. Think about that. What would the Christian person look like who was defined by their faith? Does your life look like the picture in your mind? Mine sure doesn’t. But I know the Lord who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion (Philippians 1:6). What that tells me is that though my salvation is complete, my sanctification is not. Thank goodness!

As a Christian, I have a personal responsibility for what I do. I believe in Christ not because I have to but because He has revealed Himself to me in countless ways that are unmistakably Him. I hope not out of ignorance, but because I am confident in my Lord and in His sovereignty. I love not because it is commanded, but because nothing else in all the world brings me more joy. I live expectantly, for I long to see the Lord at work around me. I live intentionally, with purpose, and an eagerness to serve the Lord in all that I do, say, and think. I desperately want my actions to match my words. I desire to put away the ways of the world, be that person that others at my own memorial service will say, “That was one gal who LOVED the Lord with all her mind, body, and soul. Lord, I give you my heart, take it, mold it, and use it for your glory. Let your Word burn in my heart. Let there be no division or compromise in my life, but complete devotion to you and you alone.