Boots

Meg slowly slid into the truck this day, looking deep in thought, not saying a word. Usually quite upbeat after our time at Raven Rock Ranch, this day Meg looked as if she was about to cry. I turned the corner onto the tree lined gravel driveway, heading towards home, hoping she would open up but silence met me and begged not to leave. Almost home, I finally asked, “Are you OK?" Without a word, she turned to face the window, but I still saw a single tear fall from her dark chocolate eyes and her petal pink lower lip began to quiver. Searching my mind for the answer so she would not have to breathe it to life herself, I asked, “Did something happen at the ranch today that upset you?” Her gaze lingered on her folded hands resting on her lap as she shook her head no and then yes. I usually try not to pry or rush her into sharing something before she is ready, but it was clear she was hurting and as her mother is it hard to let her marinate in that level of pain.  “What, honey? Tell me about it”. When she opened her mouth to speak her words quickly became uncontrolled heavy sobs.  I could only make out a single word: boots. Now I understood.

This day she had been gifted with riding boots to borrow while we are at the ranch. Sandy, owner and operator of Raven Rock Ranch, casually mentioned that she had bought some riding boots for the children who visit the ranch, feeling it was important because of the angle in which the child’s heels rest in the stirrups and the message it sends to the horse. Meg had been wearing rubber rain boots which are cute and keep moisture out, but would not protect her feet from her four-footed angel, Rusty’s 1200 pound body if he were to misstep or offer the freedom to dip her heel in the stirrups. At any rate, Sandy told Meg the boots were in the tack room and to find a pair that would fit.

Meg later told me the boots were still in the box—brand new. “I knew Sandy expected me to wear them and I knew they were better for riding, and for Rusty too, so I wore them, but I felt guilty for wearing them”. She did not have to explain any further for I, too, have known this kind of guilt---an unworthiness for receiving something without any merit on my part--But Meg did continue. She asked, “Why would she do something so nice for me? She really doesn’t know me that well and she spent her money on me”. Without a thought, I softly replied, “Because she loves you, Meg…because she loves you and wants the best for you”.  She was quiet the rest of the ride home and even for awhile once home. I imagine that she was processing that someone she has only known a short time genuinely cares about her. Later that night, when her Daddy came home from work and asked about the ranch, the first thing she mentioned, with those dancing, chocolate eyes, was the riding boots! This time joy oozed with each spoken word, not guilt.

Misplaced guilt, guilt that is not warranted because we have done nothing wrong or dishonored God in anyway, sneaks in to rob us of the freedom we are meant to live in Christ. It destroys our joy and binds us to feelings of unworthiness. Misplace guilt isolates us, sentencing us to a life deprive of acceptance for who we are in Christ.  It focuses on self, rather than on Christ. Simply, misplaced guilt is crippling.

I have known for a long time that Meg believes she has no value, that she was an accident, and is loved only out of obligation and to have watched her agonize unnecessarily over a precious, thoughtful gift broke my heart--- and yet I wondered if this gesture of kindness would be the spark she needs to expose her value.  We haven’t been back to the ranch since this day, but I am eager to see how she feels when she pulls on those leather riding boots later this week.  It is my prayer that she will wear them in freedom and not out of obligation or guilt---that she will embrace this beautiful gift and see her worth.

We do not need to feel guilt for something that honors God.  The only way to battle the crippling effects of misplaced guilt is to live rooted in the absolute, unshakable belief in the promises of God, hold them close to our hearts, and never doubt Who He is; what He has done and will do for us. This is called “living by faith”—having complete confidence in “future grace” and a life of freedom from crippling guilt. Doubt is a tactic Satan loves, absolutely loves to employ as it keeps us from living fully vested in Christ.

Meg talks constantly about Raven Rock Ranch, Rusty: her angel in a horse suit (!) and Sandy, her faithful sidekick and mentor constantly as each element of this piece of heaven on earth has gifted her with a joy that I have never, never seen before. The boots…she will wear them every visit and I believe they will serve as a reminder of her value---someone loves her and cares about her, not because they have to, but because they want to—they choose to! 

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).
Can we, like Paul, not only find contentment in weakness, hardships, persecution, and calamities, but also view these circumstances as opportunities to exalt Christ? Our value is intricately woven into this scripture and begs us to keep our focus on Christ, the Author and Perfector of our faith and not on our self. It is here that we see our value. He chose us!  He loves us! He forgives us! He blesses us…even with boots!

Past, Present, and Future Grace

"Future grace”—grace that we can confidently depend on because we have evidence of grace that we have already been gifted with in faith—“past grace”, is the essence of Romans 8:28, perhaps one of the most recognized pillars of promise in the Bible. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose”. Though sacred in the hearts and minds of many believers, it is also a passage of scripture easily discounted in times of great difficulty.

This “all encompassing promise is massively rooted in the irrevocable work of bygone grace”, writes author and Pastor John Piper about this precious promise. Don’t miss this—the grace we have already received cannot be undone, it cannot be taken away, or diminished with time. It is the evidence we crave to our unseen hope. It is as permanent as are the nail pierced scares on Jesus’ hands and the love in which His incomprehensible grace is gifted.  I picture Jesus sitting at the right hand of the Father, tracing the scares with his finger as he whispers our name. “For you”, He says, “all for you, my best and nothing less. To you I give my unsurpassing promise that all things, yes, Beloved, all things will work together for those who love me and are called according to my purpose”.

Bygone grace. The word “bygone” as a description of grace pierces my heart, inflicting a convicting, saddening pain; for the word’s undercurrent is a wistful longing for what once was as if it was unlikely to reoccur.   Grace’s life-giving breath tends to become deflated as we move through one trial into another. The vibrancy of our gratitude pastels with time and our zeal wanes. I am reminded and encouraged by the Old Testament story of Joshua leading twelve men, one from each tribe, across the Jordan River into the Promise Land. When God gave Joshua this instruction, He also told him that each of these men were to “take up twelve stones from the middle of the Jordan, from right where the priests stood, and carry them over with you and put them down at the place where you stay tonight” (Joshua 4:2-3). Can you picture the stones? I am sure my imagination has been tainted by Sunday School felt board stories, but I picture them being rather significant in size. They had to have been, for they were to be piled up, bringing attention to their significant meaning: God had grace on them in a mighty way! Their children and their children’s children would ask what the stones meant and thus began a beautiful story of the grace that God bestowed on them. 

What I find encouraging is that these stone markers were not a one time event. The men of the Old Testament often built alters or pillars of stones, architecture of past grace, as a reminder of God’s sovereignty and confidence in future grace. Can you imagine, walking along the stone markers with your child and sharing the countless acts of grace that God had gifted us with? I can practically hear the child begging, “Oh, tell me about the time when God…”, as her eyes dance in anticipation of a story she has surely heard before. The story doesn’t get old; it breathes life into the next generation. For the child, the stories are the beginning of an intimate love relationship with their Heavenly Father. For the adult, it not only reminds us of God’s ever watchful eye and guiding hand, but gives us the courage to go into battle confidently…confidently, because we are certain that His grace will once again wash over us completely.

Allowing myself to nestle deeply in the precious promise of Romans 8:28, I find myself deeply grateful that my merciful God would even look my way, not to mention sacrificing His Son for me and cheer me on in this fleeting life, all the while promising me that all things will work together for those who love Him. Humbly, I attempt to thank Him for this bountiful gift. My words are feeble as they could never portray what my heart feels. Grace is the receiving something we don’t deserve—we haven’t earned it, we can’t do it ourselves. The definition usually stops here. However, I believe that we cannot repay grace. We are not meant to, perhaps it is impossible. Instead, we are meant to treasure the gift, allowing it to nurture the roots that are required to confidently and authentically live within this verse.  The deeper the roots, the stronger the structure, so it is with us. The deeper our roots are in Christ, the more unshakable we become in life’s inevitable trials.

The world offers a mirage of substitutes, offering quick fixes, temporary hope and happiness. With time, its shallow root system decays and we find ourselves back at square one. Living, really living in the massive, unshakable structure of Romans 8:28, we have confidence in our sovereign God, a refuge, security, and hope that only God can graciously give.  This is not to say that as Christians we will not suffer. We most assuredly will suffer. We will face trials of all kinds. It is in these trails, in our pain that “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him”. That’s the goal: to bring glory to Christ, to magnify His name in all seasons. Please don’t miss this, as it is the heartbeat of our faith.

Without a doubt, there have been times when we, as Christians---those called by God for his purpose--have not been rescued in the way we hoped or escaped a painful situation. Bad things do happen to good people. God is not the author of evil. He will, however, use those situations to bring glory to His name. We can have complete confidence in the fact that what He began in us, he will complete. He will work all things together for our good because “[our]calling guarantees [our] justification; and [our] justification in turn, guarantees [our] glorification; and glorification is the ultimate fulfillment of Romans 8:28—endless ages of seeing God make everything in the universe serve our holy joy in Him”. (John Piper)

With each stone marker, I will praise Him for His sovereign grace, the fulfilling of His promises, and know with absolute certainty He will continue to work all things together in my life until Romans 8:28 is fulfilled. Joy floods my soul at this thought!

“We shall bring our Lord most glory if we get from Him much grace. If I have much faith, so that I can take God at His word…I shall greatly honor my Lord and King”. Charles Spurgeon